Umi, It’s rather odd for me to read what you have written. You know why? Because it describes me. I felt like I was in my own house reading this piece. For once, I am somewhat speechless. Your ability to empathize is an amazing gift. I am sure that it must’ve been hard for you so many times. It feels like you are an hour ahead of people, sometimes two weeks, and in some cases, maybe a year. I love this writing. It has such resonance and depth. You’re the one who is going to inspire me to write. Thanks for sharing, you have such a gift!
Again this made my day albeit running on 2 hours of sleep.. because my writing is meant to reach people and help people resonate or feel seen/heard/less alone 🥲 it’s not meant to be just about me (albeit sometimes it is just me ranting lol). I’m so glad you saw yourself 🤍 thank you for sharing that with me
So glad it made your day. Just 2 hours of sleep? If you work through the night, make sure to take care and not get run down. Thanks for your reply, I always enjoy them.
But when you leave, you leave like a language you stop speaking. Fluently and then not at all.
This line hits. Trying to stay empathetic as you grow is one of the hardest things to do because you're consuming information at a higher velocity than your peers and want to stay growing. Maintaining relationships has been one of the hardest things for me when you give 100% of your energy and aren't reciprocated back. Part of this year for me is realizing that you can be happy for all of the stars you've met in the galaxy even though you may have past their constellation and that the stars you're moving towards just burn brighter because of closeness to your current trajectory. Even the far stars are still in the galaxy and a like on their story or Facebook post is enough to say "I see you thriving" without the words.
Wonderful piece, shooting some signals to some distant stars on a lazy Sunday
Your writing sometimes gives me literal goosebumps. It’s like I’ve always viewed myself as the rice and toppings of a claypot, the easy-to-digest parts.
But you’ve handed me the heavy metal spoon to scrape the charred, sticky bits at the bottom.
Those are the parts hardened by the heat that I usually ignore, or am simply too tired to scrape for when I'm alone. It is a specific kind of fatigue to hold the spoon for everyone else, and your words reminded me that the 'scraping' is where the real flavor is. Thank you for seeing the bits at the bottom.
I hope you've tried the dish to get what I mean though because that's what came to my mind immediately 😭😭
Umi, I know I say this about nearly every post you write, but it’s like you have an invisible wire linked to my brain (and maybe even heart), writing out the things I so desperately need to hear in that very moment. Your vulnerability and keen observation is such a gift. I adore you and your heart (but this you know, already).
Forgive me for pouring my heart out a little - but I’d like share why this piece means so much to me. I just wrapped up a difficult week of work (tech, cue eye roll) wherein my beloved manager was suddenly let go. She was my relentless champion and advocate, and instilled a sense of confidence I’ve never had before. A mentor, friend, and even a sisterly/maternal figure at times, in a way I’ve never had before. She saw my quietude and challenged me to take more space because she believed in my talent, not because she wanted me to be any different. “What I love about you is that you’re exactly who you are,” she said to me on more than one occasion. She made me feel I was still impactful while still being highly empathetic, observant, and a sometimes quiet fellow INFJ.
This let me to anxiety-spiral about my future at the company, as I’m a contractor whose potential promotion now feels so far away. I’ve been taking on extra work (because who else will?) on top of the long nights I have, noticing gaps in processes that I’ve voluntarily filled, often to my own detriment. Coupled with an intense fear of speaking up in meetings (especially in my manager’s absence) and questioning my intelligence and leadership. How can I lead one day, if I can’t even speak?
So you can understand why this piece.. is everything to me, right now. Western corporate culture often rewards the loudest, most boastful in the room. But this piece reminded me that my quiet observation can be just as much a rare skill as of an exceptionally verbose orator.
That someone else understands the emotional exhaustion coupled with trying to hold up structures too large for any one person, because we want to save every single person inside it — even if that means working until midnight (because we’ve once again stayed up to build/fix a process that no one else will even noticed, but they certainly will if it ever breaks), hopping on the phone to a loved one in another timezone who’s falling apart, attempting to make miniscule strides within our own project, and succumbing to sleep — only to be woken up the next day to re-join the corporate hamster wheel.
Thank you for making me feel seen. To be seen is to be loved. And know that after all these years, I have a deep love and utmost respect for you, your heart, and your words of healing.
Umi, It’s rather odd for me to read what you have written. You know why? Because it describes me. I felt like I was in my own house reading this piece. For once, I am somewhat speechless. Your ability to empathize is an amazing gift. I am sure that it must’ve been hard for you so many times. It feels like you are an hour ahead of people, sometimes two weeks, and in some cases, maybe a year. I love this writing. It has such resonance and depth. You’re the one who is going to inspire me to write. Thanks for sharing, you have such a gift!
Again this made my day albeit running on 2 hours of sleep.. because my writing is meant to reach people and help people resonate or feel seen/heard/less alone 🥲 it’s not meant to be just about me (albeit sometimes it is just me ranting lol). I’m so glad you saw yourself 🤍 thank you for sharing that with me
So glad it made your day. Just 2 hours of sleep? If you work through the night, make sure to take care and not get run down. Thanks for your reply, I always enjoy them.
Yes.
But when you leave, you leave like a language you stop speaking. Fluently and then not at all.
This line hits. Trying to stay empathetic as you grow is one of the hardest things to do because you're consuming information at a higher velocity than your peers and want to stay growing. Maintaining relationships has been one of the hardest things for me when you give 100% of your energy and aren't reciprocated back. Part of this year for me is realizing that you can be happy for all of the stars you've met in the galaxy even though you may have past their constellation and that the stars you're moving towards just burn brighter because of closeness to your current trajectory. Even the far stars are still in the galaxy and a like on their story or Facebook post is enough to say "I see you thriving" without the words.
Wonderful piece, shooting some signals to some distant stars on a lazy Sunday
Your writing sometimes gives me literal goosebumps. It’s like I’ve always viewed myself as the rice and toppings of a claypot, the easy-to-digest parts.
But you’ve handed me the heavy metal spoon to scrape the charred, sticky bits at the bottom.
Those are the parts hardened by the heat that I usually ignore, or am simply too tired to scrape for when I'm alone. It is a specific kind of fatigue to hold the spoon for everyone else, and your words reminded me that the 'scraping' is where the real flavor is. Thank you for seeing the bits at the bottom.
I hope you've tried the dish to get what I mean though because that's what came to my mind immediately 😭😭
Umi, I know I say this about nearly every post you write, but it’s like you have an invisible wire linked to my brain (and maybe even heart), writing out the things I so desperately need to hear in that very moment. Your vulnerability and keen observation is such a gift. I adore you and your heart (but this you know, already).
Forgive me for pouring my heart out a little - but I’d like share why this piece means so much to me. I just wrapped up a difficult week of work (tech, cue eye roll) wherein my beloved manager was suddenly let go. She was my relentless champion and advocate, and instilled a sense of confidence I’ve never had before. A mentor, friend, and even a sisterly/maternal figure at times, in a way I’ve never had before. She saw my quietude and challenged me to take more space because she believed in my talent, not because she wanted me to be any different. “What I love about you is that you’re exactly who you are,” she said to me on more than one occasion. She made me feel I was still impactful while still being highly empathetic, observant, and a sometimes quiet fellow INFJ.
This let me to anxiety-spiral about my future at the company, as I’m a contractor whose potential promotion now feels so far away. I’ve been taking on extra work (because who else will?) on top of the long nights I have, noticing gaps in processes that I’ve voluntarily filled, often to my own detriment. Coupled with an intense fear of speaking up in meetings (especially in my manager’s absence) and questioning my intelligence and leadership. How can I lead one day, if I can’t even speak?
So you can understand why this piece.. is everything to me, right now. Western corporate culture often rewards the loudest, most boastful in the room. But this piece reminded me that my quiet observation can be just as much a rare skill as of an exceptionally verbose orator.
That someone else understands the emotional exhaustion coupled with trying to hold up structures too large for any one person, because we want to save every single person inside it — even if that means working until midnight (because we’ve once again stayed up to build/fix a process that no one else will even noticed, but they certainly will if it ever breaks), hopping on the phone to a loved one in another timezone who’s falling apart, attempting to make miniscule strides within our own project, and succumbing to sleep — only to be woken up the next day to re-join the corporate hamster wheel.
Thank you for making me feel seen. To be seen is to be loved. And know that after all these years, I have a deep love and utmost respect for you, your heart, and your words of healing.
🩷 take care of yourself, lovey
signed,
a fellow tired INFJ