Monsters don't grow flowers

I confused the damage I’d walked through with the damage I’d become.

I called my best friend at 1 a.m. and told her I was a monster.

Not in the way people say it when they’re fishing for reassurance. In the way people say it when they’ve spent three hours replaying every version of themselves they’re ashamed of and the evidence feels airtight. I listed the case. I said: I hurt someone who loved me. I watched myself become…