“Hi, I’ve followed you for almost a decade. You really helped shape me through my high school angsts when I didn’t have many older friends and peers to look up to. I really looked up to you and your emotional processes when we were younger helped me grow into the adult I am today. I noticed that your beliefs have changed since we were younger not meant to offend in any way. I remember you wrote a lot about letting bygones be bygones and simply moving on when things didn’t work out. Over the years, I have noticed that you advocate for more effort and work into a relationship which has also been helpful as I get older. I think both ways are great but I was just wondering if something in your life changed. Sorry this is so long. I also wanted to ask from your experience in dating, whether or how you can motivate your significant other whether it’s in being more positive, active, caring… I feel like my girlfriend doesn’t care to change some of her behavior and I am not sure if this is something I should stay for or is this where you let bygones be bygones and move on? Thank you.”
Hi G!
Thank you for the time you spent in typing your question(s) out. It was a very eloquently written submission and I enjoyed the nth degree of the branches of thought. I also wanted to thank you for following me throughout the years and sticking with me through all of my phases.
I’m going to break this into two schools of thought. So let’s begin with Part i:
I am a huge advocate of trial, error and repair. Partially, I attribute it to the fact that I’ve never been one to follow the status quo— at least not for emotions pertaining to the heart. That means that given how we live in a throw-away culture, I stubbornly believe in the opposite. And truthfully, I believe in the opposite because I have “thrown away” a couple lovers who were truly good to me. And by ‘good’, I mean that they wanted to do the work and they chose ‘us’ time and time again. I never stand so strongly in a conviction unless I’ve done otherwise.
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